Weighty Issues

I'm a lot less worried about Lorelei's weight than I was a few months ago, but it still nags at me.  Even though I can see how well she's developing and how healthy she looks, it's just hard to ignore the idea that is something is wrong because she's not gaining as much as she's "supposed to."

So far, our pediatrician hasn't recommended any particular course of action.  She has questioned my milk supply which I find highly annoying.  I have worked (and continue to work) really, really hard to breastfeed Lorelei, believing that it is the best for her.  The implication that not only is it not the best for her, but in fact is causing her slow weight gain is hurtful, frankly.  For many reasons, I am confident that my milk supply is not an issue, but it is still hard to be questioned by an "authoritative" figure.

I plan to continue breastfeeding Lorelei but I am very happy to have a little pressure off my shoulders as she is taking really well to solids.  We have to be careful to not let her go overboard as breastmilk needs to be her primary source of nutrition for several more months, but it's just nice to be able to watch her enjoy food.

Speaking of enjoying food...I have been doing far too much of that myself lately.  Between the stress of this situation and my subconscious belief that me eating more will help Lorelei gain weight, I've been eating far too much crap.  So, while Lorelei maintains her petite little self, I am fattening up nicely.

We go back to the doc for a weight check in mid-January.  In the meantime, we just keep on, keeping on.  Feeding and, as importantly, enjoying our little girl.

Dinosaur party

We can't take credit for this idea, but it was fun to execute nonetheless.

Rhys got some cool dinosaur toys for his birthday and one night he just didn't do a good enough job of putting them away.  They took their opening and made a beeline for the kitchen, helping themselves to a midnight snack of cereal.

When Rhys found them in the kitchen the next morning, he LOVED it!  It made for a great start to the day.

Rhys Turns Three!

In the last year we've watched Rhys transition from a toddler to a little boy.  It's amazing how the changes feel minute when you witness them day to day but are huge when you look back at videos/pictures from a year ago.  Three year-old Rhys is very different than two year-old Rhys.  

We were so excited to celebrate Rhys' third birthday in our new house.  It was definitely a challenge to host a big ol' party just three weeks after moving in, but I'm so glad we did.  Rhys had such a fantastic time at his party and Brian and I loved having all of our friends and family over.  It felt so luxurious to have space for everyone! 

Rhys is all boy.  He loves cars and trucks and tools and trains and construction stuff.  Nearly every gift he got was something along those lines so he was in hog heaven.  It was a real challenge the next day figuring out what new toy to play with.  (Tough life, I know).

And, now, on to the pictures!

Before the party, Rhys got to help Dada with some cake prep.

I love this picture of Rhys.  It's perfect for the Christmas card.  However, it doesn't reflect his real personality at all...

...this is a much more accurate representation of the real Rhys.

Rhys was SO good about not digging into the cake before the party.  The same cannot be said for Lorelei.

I probably should've just let her eat some - take some pressure off on the whole weight gain situation.

Rhys is a huge fan of cousin Norah.  Huge.

A rare moment of Rhys interacting with one of his parents during his party.  I thought wanting nothing to do with us didn't happen until the teen years...? 

I think it's safe to say that Rhys absolutely loved it when everyone sang happy birthday to him.  It's somewhat hard to see in the video but he is in awe and is whispering the song to himself.  It choked me up a little watching him.  The near-tears were quickly replaced by laughter was I watched him extinguish his candles with spit rather than air.

The morning after the party, Rhys had a little downtime reading one of his new books with Uncle Coco.

So sweet.

I am not sure who has the goofier grin.

After the Spokane contingent went home it was time to get outside and get some work done with his new tools and tool belt from Uncle Dave.

All in all a fantastic birthday weekend.

This picture has nothing to do with this post.  I just wanted to put it up.  Isn't she beautiful?

Check-ups

Two weeks ago was Rhys' 3-year check-up and today was Lorelei's 6-month check-up.  The long and short of it is that they are both healthy but one is giant and one is tiny. 

I don't have Rhys' stats in front of me, but he is in the 95th-ish percentile for both height and weight.  He weighs about 43 pounds and is wearing 4T, sometimes 5T, clothes.  He is a big boy.

Lorelei weighs 15 pounds.  She has dropped to the 26th percentile for weight but is holding steady at the 87th percentile for height.  She is a petite lady.

It would seem in the nature vs nurture debate, nature is winning on on this one. 

It's probably a very good lesson for me to have the two of them be so different.  They are who they are, regardless of me and my efforts to control the situation. 

Our burly bear cub looking an awful lot like his Uncle Coco.

Maybe she'd gain some more weight if some of the food actually went in her mouth.

What she lacks in stature she makes up for in cuteness.

This girl melts my heart.

Sleep

(You knew this post was coming, right?)

I think one of the update emails that I sent when I was pregnant with Rhys said something like “I know I’m going to be tired.  I get it.”

What a f*ing idiotic statement.  No one can “get” how tired they’re going to be when they have kids.  To all of the parents who read my statement and bit their tongue, I commend you.   

What’s weird is that I don’t actually feel that tired.  My body, having gotten the message that sleep of any quantity or quality will not be happening, is pumping out mass quantities of adrenaline and cortisol to stay in a somewhat functioning mode.

What I do feel is incredibly irritable.  I have no patience, which is a bad thing to find yourself in short supply of when trying to be a loving mother to your three year-old.  It is nearly impossible to be the woman and mother I want to be when my sleep tank is constantly on empty.

I was dealing ok with the sleep deprivation prior to returning to work.  If the opportunity presented itself, I could linger in bed in the morning.  Most days, I was able to catch at least a short cat nap that revived me.  Now that I’m back at work, neither of those are an option and the lack of sleep is taking its toll. 

As a result of my grid-iron determination to breastfeed Lorelei and my concerns about her weight gain, I have always been the one to get up with her.  I hit my breaking point last week and asked Brian for help (note that he’s always been willing to help, it’s been me who has insisted on doing it herself).  Unfortunately, Lorelei was not on board with this idea.  The couple of times we’ve tried it, she has cried and cried.  As Brian said, it seems that our daughter is much like her Mama in the middle of the night…pissed off about being awake and wanting what she wants to help her get back to sleep. 

Perhaps sensing that Dada was available for duty, Rhys has now started to call out for Brian up to 3 times per night.  And by “call out” I mean scream at the top of his freakin’ lungs.  It sucks.  That is an understatement.  (In our new house we are much further away from Rhys, but his voice echoes throughout all 3K+ square feet, so we hear him loud and clear). 

Before I had kids, when I heard people say that being a parent was hard, I’d think to myself, “that’s ok, I can do it.  I’ve done lots of hard stuff in my life.”  What I never really understood was that being a parent is hard because it is constant.  24/7, day-after-day, week-after-week you are a parent.  It’s not hard because it’s ditch-digging, it’s hard because it’s relentless!  The “hard” stuff that I’d done before always had a known endpoint followed by a rest period.  That is not the case now.  There are no weekends in the job of parenting.  There's no guarantee of a good night's sleep following a day's work.   

Sorry for the Debbie-downer post.  I just needed to vent.  Deep down inside, I know how lucky I am to have two beautiful kids.  It’s just really difficult to live in that space of gratitude right now.  Not being able to find the joy in life, but instead feeling like I’m in survival mode, is the worst thing about not getting enough sleep.

They are cute, no doubt about it.
And I'd be able to enjoy them so much more if I could get a 5-hour stretch of sleep.

Isn't the look on her face priceless?!
"Good luck with that 5 hours, Mama.  Bwahahahahahaha!"

New Digs

So, we moved.  With the generous help of family and friends, and a ton of work by Brian, we managed to pack up the contents of our townhome and move our little family of four to our spacious new house.  

Executing a move in the midst of an already busy, sleep-deprived life is not something I would recommend, but I sure am glad we did it.  I was beyond ready to get out of our townhouse.  I know it’s a first-world problem, but being crammed in 950 square feet day after day with an extremely energetic toddler was more than my introverted, need-some-space-for-me, self could handle. 

The journey to find our new house was long and, at many times, frustrating.  We wasted too much time with a sub-par real estate agent that we should have fired long before we did.  We considered building a modular home from scratch.  We considered moving out to Snoqualmie.  We considered buying a fixer-upper and doing a 9+ month remodel.  Towards the end I was so worn out that I was about ready to settle for any 3 bedroom house.  I had resigned myself to the idea that we would find a house that would be fine, but it certainly wouldn't be something I loved.

I am so glad I was wrong.  I truly love our new house.  There’s more space than we know what to do with and it thrills me!  This is a house we can grow into.  I can see the kids having sleepovers with their friends.  I can see the basement being a good place for teenagers to hang out.  I can see taking a shower at night without worrying about waking up the kids (oh, wait, that’s already happening!). 

The neighborhood is fantastic too.  It’s quiet.  There’s seems to be lots of families with kids.  We’ve met a few folks and they are kind and welcoming.  

We've only been here a little over a week and, of course, are still getting settled in but it’s very much feeling like home.  

You can't tell from this picture because he's on his union-mandated snack break, but Rhys was a great helper during the move.  The kid is a very hard worker.

Uncle Coco used his geometry skills to figure out how to fit everything in the U-Haul.

Lorelei found the move to be exhausting.  This is her third nap of the day.

This is a 10-minute walk from our new house.  Pretty awesome.

Me and the kiddos out for a walk in our new neighborhood.

Lorelei Milestone

This was my first week back to work and, of course, the little lady hit a major milestone while I was gone.  I captured it on film later.  Check it out...

Going back to work was definitely hard but it's been good.  I *really* need time away from my kiddos to really enjoy them when we are together.  

The week before I went back, I made a concerted effort to spend some quality time with Rhys.  Our special trip one morning consisted of a bus ride downtown, a doughnut and milk stop and a new toy from Magic Mouse.  

Selfie on the bus ride downtown.  The kid LOVES buses...not entirely sure why.

It's not too often he gets a doughnut and it's even more rare for Mama to buy it for him.  I enjoyed treating him.

I let him pick out one toy from the store and it took ages for him to decide.  He ended up choosing a forklift.  I'm pretty sure he's going to be a general contractor when he grows up.

These pictures have nothing to do with this post, but they're cute so I wanted to share them!

Kid Pics

Ahhh, I have so much to say right now.  Thoughts on motherhood, sleep deprivation, tiny houses, etc.  But, that'll all have to wait as my to-do list today is quite long.  In the meantime, here are a couple of cute pictures of our kids.

Rhys got this awesome fanny pack from Debra (Katie's partner).  He loves it.  Doesn't it look like he's ready for kindergarten?!

It's ridiculous that we haven't done a birth announcement for Lorelei yet.  I was in a much worse place after Rhys' birth and yet still managed to get announcements in the mail.  My main holdup is that I don't have any great pictures of her.  I attempted a little photo shoot the other day and a photographer I am not.  So, I decided these aren't announcement-worthy, but they are good enough for the blog.   

Strike a pose.

Love, love, love her hair.

She has the absolute best smiles.

I am not kidding, they are the best.

In case you couldn't tell, I love her smiles.

Auntie Audrey Strikes Again

Auntie Audrey has a history of taking great pictures of Rhys and she's now off to a great start with Lorelei.  Check it out!

It's pretty amazing that she was able to get this shot since she spent most of her visit being run ragged by Rhys.  That's pretty much been standard for all of our visitors...they come to "see Lorelei" which happens for about 30 seconds and then Rhys demands their attention.  It works out great for me and Brian as we get a bit of a break from his non-stop talking and questions.  That kid is high-energy! And that little Snuggle Bug above is sweet as can be.     

F*&#ing Disaster

We tried to take the side off of Rhys' crib.  I think you can tell from the title of this post how it went.  Here's the story.

A few weeks ago Rhys was kicking the side of his crib after we put him down for bed and so Brian went in there and "threatened" to take the side off.  Rhys' response?  "Ok."  Hmmm, that's not what we expected.  So Brian had to quickly backpedal on his threat...but not backpedal too far because, of course, at some point we do need to take the side off so we don't want Rhys to think of it as a terrible thing.  (I got to just listen to the whole conversation via the monitor - it was quite entertaining.)

After that evening, Rhys started asking for us to take the side off.  We told him we would do it in a few weeks and every few days we'd mention it and talk about it some more.  So, this past Sunday (my birthday, of all days) we did it. Rhys was super gung-ho about it until Brian actually did the deed.  As soon as Rhys saw with his own eyes what "taking the side off the crib" actually meant, he erupted into a massive and intense meltdown.  We tried to calm him down and convince him to at least get in  and try it out but it was futile.  So, we put the side back on.  And, then?  He had an even bigger meltdown/tantrum and started asking us to take it off again.  What?!  So, foolishly, we took it back off.  And?  Yep, you guessed it.  More tantrum and tears.  WTF.  So, we put it back on.  Of course at this point the kid was just beyond upset and nothing we did would calm him down.  It was awful.  I ended up taking Lorelei out for a walk and when I came home I could hear him still screaming from outside.  Oh my.  It was a really terrible way to end my birthday.

So, for now, our giant 2.5 year old will remain in his crib.  I have no idea how we're going to transition him to a real bed.  I think we might just have to buy him a car bed or something cool like that and get rid of any semblance of the crib at all.  Who knows.

Virtual Greetings and Lorelei Update

August is a busy month for birthdays and anniversaries.  Normally, I'm pretty good about sending cards (if I do say so myself).  This year, I did not send one card.  I've been too busy worrying about Lorelei and trying to be patient with Rhys to do much else.  So, here are some electronic well wishes:

Happy Birthday, Erica!  I hope you enjoyed your chocolate. I look forward to celebrating with you in person someday...

Happy Anniversary, Alisha and Shane!  You two are a great couple and we love hanging out with you...speaking of which, just let us know when you're ready for us to come for an overnighter.  :)

Happy Birthday, Alisha!  I hope your day is filled with some peace and quiet (hahahahahha, I probably should wish for you something realistic).  You're a great friend and I appreciate you.

Happy Anniversary, Pa and Donna!  Seems like you two have been married forever, which is a good thing.  You two are a good yin and yang.

Happy Anniversary, Sara and Steve!  You two really have been married forever.  Congratulations!

And, now, a Lorelei update...

She has been a dream baby with one (big) exception.  She's got me stressed to the max because she's not gaining "enough" weight.  I knew her weight gain was on the low side as I've been weighing her periodically, but I was hoping it wasn't any cause for concern.  At her two-month check-up this past Friday the doctor said she dropped from the 50th percentile in weight to the 35th percentile, which is in fact a bit of a cause for concern.  Now, the doc wasn't overly concerned but of course I was sent into a stressed out tailspin.  Doc said just make sure to feed her at least every three hours during the day, let her sleep at night and come back in 4 weeks for a weight check.  I would *love* to be able to be so non-chalant about it!  But, you all know me...I have to DO something.

So, I spent the weekend with Dr. Google researching reasons she might be a reluctant eater.  I've determined she might have a little reflux and am now cutting dairy and caffeine from my diet to see if that helps.  (I *may* have had more than my fair share of pizza and chocolate in the last two months).  Seems like a good enough action, plan, right?  Nope, not for me.  

Instead, I also started questioning my milk supply and started drinking a lactation tea.  Basically overnight Lorelei turned into a fussy baby that had to be held most of the time.  Turns out the tea has an ingredient that can be really hard on a baby's tummy.  Ooops. Quit the tea yesterday and am (im)patiently waiting for it to get out of both our systems.

I also decided I should pump and bottle feed her as a supplement and to make *sure* she was getting some decent feedings.  Haha, Lorelei says.  Take your bottle and shove it.  She refused a bottle all weekend.  Just when I thought my stress levels couldn't get any higher that really shot them through the roof. 

I also decided to try and feed her every hour or two.  She and I are both really sick of seeing my boobs.  I think she thinks I'm crazy (which, of course, is true).  She's really not interested in eating that often, but I keep trying because seeing her eat is really the only thing that calms me down a bit. 

If at her next weight check she's still in the 35th percentile, then there's no problem.  If she's dropped again, then the doc will be more concerned.  Yikes.  Let's hope that's not the case.  I can't imagine what my action plan will look like then...

The good news is that Lorelei has no idea anything is wrong.  Other than the tea upsetting her, she's been an easygoing, happy, smiley little girl.  Those smiles really do keep me going.

This is her face when looking at Rhys.  "Is that crazy kid seriously my brother?"

"So, seriously, he's my brother?"

Mama, I'm almost bigger than that cat.  Doesn't that make you feel better?

    

Scooter Stud

We got Rhys a scooter a few months back and I was super impressed with how quickly he figured it out.  I thought, though, that it would take a long time (as in maybe years) for him to figure out how to use the brake.  I was wrong.  Check it out. 

You can't really see the huge grin in on his face at the end but, trust me, it was there.  I think you can see the pride just in the way he is standing.

So cool.

4th of July

Because I am now old and crotchety, I kind of hate the 4th of July.  I despise the fireworks going off ALL NIGHT LONG when I'm trying desperately to get some sleep.  This year's 4th of July night was no different (i.e. I hated it) but the day was awesome as we hung out with the Westbys.  Rhys had a fabulous time.  Good friends, cool toys and fire.  What more could a boy want?

Rhys and Calder in the Jeep.  They said they were going to Portland...or Alaska.

Me and my babe.  She's going to have her work cut out for her someday, keeping up with all of the boys, but I have no doubt she'll be up for the task.  In the meantime, she's excelling at her jobs - eating, pooping and sleeping.

Shane helping Rhys light a firework.  At this moment, Shane skyrocketed to the top of Rhys' "favorite people" list.

Such focus.  Such concentration.  Why can't he be like this when we're asking him to do stuff at home?!

The thing got pretty smoky which made Rhys love it even more.

Father daughter bonding time.

We forgot to put Rhys in the flag shirt he received from Nana and Papa.  Ooops.  Rhys is saying "cheese" for the picture but he's stuck on the "ch" part instead of the "eese" part.

Rhys and Calder are attempting to give the thumbs up sign.

Picking raspberries.  Camp Westby has everything!

Playing a little football...

...and a little basketball.  Seriously, Camp Westby has everything.  We intend to invite ourselves back very soon, this time for an overnighter!