Done

I'm finally done pumping and it's bittersweet.  Eight months of pumping exclusively, save for a week or two.  I am so happy to not feel like a cow anymore and to have hours of my day back, but I am sad to no longer be giving Rhys my milk.  (Well, that's not quite true as two of his four bottles a day are from the freezer stash, but you get the idea.)  I'm kind of mourning the loss/lack of breastfeeding relationship all over again and probably will yet again when the freezer stash runs out in a few weeks.

And, of course, there's the guilt.  Mommy guilt is a force unlike any other.  It's what got me up to pump in the middle of the night for months on end and it's what tells me that Rhys' constipation is all my fault.  I know it'll never go away so I'm trying to make friends with it.  Hello Guilt.  I know you will anyway, so I'm inviting you to join me on this journey called motherhood.  Sometimes you'll win, but not this time.  I did my very best for Rhys and nothing you say can change that.

We're also done feeding Rhys during the night and for the most part he now sleeps a full 12-hours with barely a peep.  Every once in awhile he squawks, but it literally lasts for less than 30 seconds and we all go back to sleep.  I've been reluctant to post about this particular topic because, as Brian put it, you don't talk about a no-hitter when you're having a no-hitter.  (For the non-baseball fans out there, you don't want to jinx it.)  I've whined and moaned so much about not sleeping, though, it feels disingenuous to not write about how AWESOME it is to once again sleep through the night.  As it turns out, motherhood hasn't turned me into a bitchy, forgetful, stupid woman.  I was just tired.  May the sleep angels continue to sprinkle their dust on our house each night.

Rhys' crawling skills improve exponentially each day, much to the dismay of Jacques and Elliott.  Jacques does his best to just steer clear of the Rhys, but Elliott's desire for a pet or some lovin' from me or Brian seems to outweigh his fear.  As soon as Rhys gets close, though, he's out.