I'm probably supposed to say "I'm too exhausted to enjoy dinner out with my husband but, no biggie, I have two beautiful healthy children that make it all worth it!" But, for me, that statement would be mostly false. The true part is that I have two beautiful, healthy children and I am most certainly grateful for them. But I was really disappointed that dinner was kind of a bust. And the kids, in all their glory, do not cancel that feeling. To me, that's what the phrase "make it all worth it" feels like - a cancellation of sorts. I feel X, but Y "makes it all worth it" so X doesn't really matter (or even exist). Nope. My kids freakin' exhaust me and I love them a whole bunch. Two simultaneous, somewhat contradictory feelings. They both exist. One does not cancel the other.
(Has anyone else noticed how much our culture supports this whole "one cancels the other" thing? I eat like crap, but it's ok because I exercise. I sit 10 hours a day but it's ok because I run marathons. I don't get enough sleep, but it's ok because coffee gets me through the day. Eating, exercising, sitting, sleeping, caffeine - they are all inputs to the body with unique results. They do not cancel one another out. Really, they don't. We need to understand this.)
So, anyway, back to our anniversary...I was exhausted and disappointed that I was exhausted. What made me happy, and what always makes me happy, is being married to Brian. There is a lot I love about him, but what I truly cherish is this simple fact - he is a genuinely good person. Did anyone read that without nodding their head and thinking "yep, true"? I didn't think so. You all know what I mean. He has such a big heart and truly cares about everyone around him.
It's an honor to be married to this good man.
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